I haven’t been posting much besides sponsored posts and web excursions for a while now. I figured it was time for a checkin for the sake of those who check this blog regularly, and especially for the benefit of those who offer financial support to me and all my projects.
As you probably know, I have bipolar disorder. Most of my project releases and blogging spurts correlate with manic episodes. And manic episodes are bad for me — they result in a severe sleep deficit that is shortening my life. But I’ve been remarkably stable lately, the downside of which is no late night coding/creating binges or the inescapable bursting of ideas that I just have to share with the world. It means I do my job, I maintain and support my commercial software, I fix reported bugs in my free projects, and I go to bed. It doesn’t lead to a lot of fun software releases, blog posts, or new ideas in general. Sleep is good, stagnation kills me.
I’ve recently been realizing that my version of “stable” is more akin to depression. The thing is, I can’t take antidepressants without risking triggering a manic phase, which leaves me in a position where I either have to be depressed, or deal with the life-shortening effects of constant mood fluctuation. But I think I have a potential solution…
I removed the meat of this post because it was causing friction with my loved ones. I don’t want my activities to cause any undue harm, so I’ll save further sharing on this topic until everything is… decriminalized.
So that’s my check-in for now. You can hear more up-to-the-minute updates on my progress (as well as Jeff and Christina’s) by tuning into the Mental Health Corner on Overtired. I appreciate all of the support (monetary, pull requests, and even just kind emails) that you all have continued to provide for me. It really helps me stay motivated to maintain my 100+ projects and create new stuff!